Day 23 out of 30 – The Minimalism Game
1 x handbag, 1 x henna kit, 10 x 21st Birthday cards (I’m 24!), 1 x beauty bag containing a blue-light nail kit complete with machine and polish, 1 x curling iron with accessories, 1 x straightener hairbrush, 1 x teddy bear, 1 x notebook with keep sake ticket stubs from a Europe Trip, my last 8 x CDs
I feel like today I just got to the angry, screw it stage.
I’m not completely sure why I was feeling like this. It probably has something to do with how discontent and uncertain I’m feeling at the moment, how mum and I just had another argument, how the boss and I keep butting heads when we used to be so in-sync.
I had just thanked my boss the other day when she had yet another angry tangent at me. Thanked her. Not that her argument was incorrect, it was. It was her slightly abusive tone and very condescending verbal delivery that I had a problem with.
I don’t know why I do this to myself. It’s not the first time, I’ve let someone lash out at me and then thanked them for their feedback. “Don’t take it personally, they just have to get it out of their system.” It’s the people pleaser in me. But now I am frankly quite frustrated and tired of that side of myself. Tired that I let people get away with bad behaviour. Tired that I self-sacrifice for them and open up my own feelings to hurt. Frustrated I can never think of some witty burn that puts them in their place. Frustrated that I’m even feeling frustrated to begin with.
With all this running through my head today, it was interesting to see how these thoughts and emotions passed through me to my possessions. Suddenly I was looking at my belongings with disdain and aggravation. “Screw it!” had become today’s accidental intention and with every act, conversation as well as today’s minimization session contained its brutal message.
I guess at the moment, I’m feeling lost. Stuck in limbo. I still feel like I’m discovering what passion I want to turn into a career or a business. I’m just waiting.
I do feel however that the change I seek is coming. My passions are becoming more refined the more practise and the current work and family frustrations will continue to test me, teach me and push into uncomfortable places. This is a good thing. When we are uncomfortable, we will grow and change to get back to a place of comfort.
I know this is more off topic than usual, but I just felt I needed to put my emotions into words to help me understand them more. So thanks for reading (if you’re still here that is!)
Total Number of Items Discarded to date: 392
P.S: I’ll be away camping for the next 3 days so a temporary pause on the 30-Day Minimalism Game! Have a lovely weekend!